Tag Archives: Mother


As i retire, be my only dream

My sole desire, to share in your realm.


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Posted by on May 7, 2014 in Poetry virgin


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Home & Warm

These white waves and all their beauty

Will never erase this empty continuity

‘Angels protect you

Troubles neglect you

And heaven accepts you’

You are home

My heart feels warm

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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Reborn


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In this minute

Away from each other but together in this minute,

Heartbeats unite, immense love beyond any limit.

How much we miss you

Oh, they got no clue

For even if fourteen will always be a low,

Fifteen, sixteen…for You, we always will glow.

4 months xo


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Posted by on April 15, 2014 in Poetry virgin


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Death does give birth

Today on my way to school I walked through the university’s car park. There’s normally nothing spectacular about this particular space. Safe for an occasional flashy car or the intruiging Jopo retro bikes or the parking attendants happily fining illegally parked cars *I’ve been a victim on occasion* story for another day. Am just happy to be writing again.

So, back to the car park, I have decided to be walking more and driving less, my concentration on the road has deteriorated somewhat and I find that am that annoying driver who daydreams at the traffic lights, forgets to indicate when turning or changing lanes. Yes, I am that unpleasant but it’s not my fault. I think of her all the time.

This morning was no different, except that I wasn’t behind a wheel. You see, I bid mama goodbye last year December 14th. My biggest unexpected, untimely, most shocking *there aren’t sufficient adjectives to describe it* experience of my entire life. On that Saturday I was 34 years, 3 months and 79 days old. Those years instantly died with her and on the Sunday that followed I woke up a newly born 34 years, 3 months and 80 days older woman. This is who I am today. Back to the car park, a striking sight caught my eye and interfered with my thoughts.

As the winter passes and the snow melts away, bare land gets uncovered. Places where last summer’s grass grew are exposed as ugly, dead, dry hay alike and hopeless surfaces, as if nothing good can be yielded from them. This describes exactly my path this morning. But the most beautiful thing was happening and that’s the basis of this post today

A few beautiful yellow flowers were growing out of this nothingness. My heart leaped and I took a photo.


This will always remind me that death does give birth. My mama left, but I was reborn into a woman whose description I cannot pen down. Every dawning day I face the reality of her absence but I also gaze at the beauty of this new child re-learning all the things she thought she knew and opening her mind to the totally different perspective her life has taken. Am amazed.

I miss you like I cannot describe; I feel you in everything.

Forever loved.



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Posted by on April 9, 2014 in Reborn


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My hiatus
Got so much to say, to write, to tell but my brain’s moving too fast for my pen
Feels like my story is a common feat yet incredibly personal; 
I drown in this ocean of thoughts and narratives.
I swim in this lake of dreams, wishes and what if’s.
I cross these rivers of pain, hope, grace and fleeting smiles.
I dwell in these streams of promise, that maybe tomorrow, or some other day 
My hiatus will give.
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Posted by on April 2, 2014 in My musings


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Date with Him. Someday

Dates have come to mean more than just numbers & time trackers.
Dates now come attached with countdowns; of how she still was here,

how much longer her breath filled her lungs. The companionship of her and her heart beat and for how long God laughed at our many plans with her because He knew what He knew.
Dates have become a motivator and on occasion a hollow fear.
Dates remind me that am only certain of a moment, minute, second passed.
He still laughs at my plans am
certain. I just want to someday laugh at them with Him and her.
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Posted by on March 27, 2014 in My musings


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Yesterday I shopped, a beautiful peach blouse. That was a milestone.
Beauty is slowly taking shape, disregarding the canvas of black that has engulfed my core.
A blind of death.
Today am in the library, no need to plug headphones and I can concentrate alright.
Another milestone. 
Tears well up, threatening to crack me again.
No, not today!
Today belongs to my stride. 
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Posted by on March 25, 2014 in Poetry virgin


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