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Narrative Changed

In my last post, sometime in June, I mentioned a possibility of narrative change. Oh yes! and change did it. The worries, pains, shocks of yesterday didn’t melt away *I doubt they will, any time soon* but the burden has gotten lighter, significantly lighter. Although they’re events that catapult me back to that dreadful December morning. Like seeing my dad cry. Da** that’s terrible. Seeing him choke and eventually succumb is not the worst part, its the helplessness I feel. I have strength, a solid block of inner strength and in moments like these, I want to give all of it to this man who most of my life revolves around. I’ll revisit this another day…today is about my changed narrative.

Have you ever said silent goodbyes? The kind that you really don’t want to, not because they’re difficult, or the parting is so emotional *I suffer from emotion deficiency* but because you really don’t know what tomorrow holds, yet you have somehow convinced yourself to plunge into that bleakness and uncertainty and you are worried that loud goodbyes might haunt you if you ever have to retrace those steps. Even if we don’t burn bridges, I don’t want to have to walk a path I have boldly and riskily bade goodbye.

So, that time finally came.The curtain falling to mark the close of over a quarter of my life. Time came to say goodbye to those lovely and at times not so lovely 13 years of my life in a foreign land. A land that had become my second home. Literally. What was I coming home to? Most certainly my family – my nuclear family. A lot has taught me how this unit is the single most important thing after my own coming soon family (No, am not pregnant)…….

I digress, it’s raining violently outside and my ride is here so, this post has to prematurely end here…..

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Posted by on August 22, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Gonna cry hard tonight

Cause by morning, gotta get it right

Give my heart and brain a total disconnect,

From funny complications

And dangerous notions

My haiku, screams inept.


Posted by on February 23, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Moved by music – Weekly Challenge

All deep things are song.  It seems somehow the very central essence of us, song; as if all the rest were but wrappages and hulls!  ~Thomas Carlyle

Music for me must have began while i was still in mama’s insides, i remember vividly growing up in a house where mornings were synonymous to the beautiful voices of local gospel music * mums’* bless you tube, i can still re-live these amazing moments. Skeeter Davis or Jim Reeves *dads’*  This was most probably my very first encounter with western music, excluding the nursery rhymes we learnt in kindergarten. Dad’s music extended to the car, those were cassette days. The best memory was the family choirs we had during our long road trips from the city to the countryside while visiting relatives. I later came to learn that my dad liked it all the more because it helped keep him awake (His job involved lots of night shifts).

Then there was my grandfathers vinyl records, oh how he valued them, i don’t remember ever touching his record player (suicide mission) but it’s the look on his face whenever his records played that remains deeply etched in me to date. He was king at that moment. Even as a child i understood the simple fact that music was uplifting. Most of the lyrics were too heavy too comprehend but the melodies enchanted my young innocent spirit.

In those days, people put lots of effort at mastering lyrics off head and took much pleasure in singing along, A lot of my formative music was gospel and the best place to practice and sharpen my skills was at the local church (obviously). I find that to a certain extend this influence continued to shape me up until puberty *self discovery* Enter personalized song book – a thick journal of handwritten lyrics to all songs i loved.

I had various categories but reggae took up most of the pages. In reggae, i lost myself, to a world of unlimited imagination, i travelled the world and transversed continents while in the comfort of my house. The guitar chords aroused me in indescribable ways and i could relate to the messages of love, struggle, revolution, spirituality in the lyrics. The song that did it for me and continues to is ‘Rivers of Babylon‘ by The Melodians.

The lyrics are lasting, soundtrack memorable . Am taken back in time by the melancholia and nostalgia. This indelible music moves me.

Indulge……..Rivers of Babylon


Posted by on November 5, 2013 in Uncategorized


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